Sat 24 Jan
The week starts well bar a forgotten coat and house keys on a train at Paddington, and despite the JonE and DenE boys spending too long in the bar at Heathrow. They just manage to board their flight before the doors close, and arrive in Lyon in perfect time for us to pick them up and successfully rendezvous with the Cambridge bus crew for the wine and cheese handover. Le frère arrives in the pouring rain at Part Dieu via Eurostar and TGV, with his other jacket locked in a suitcase with the keys still in London. We queue for a taxi and on arrival chez nous he finds it disconcertingly easy to force the lock.
The wining and dining gets off to an auspicious start with delicious tuna meatballs and a taster or two from the week's carte des vins.
Sun 25 Jan
Once again we manage to cram la petite voiture with five adults, four pairs of ski boots, three pairs of skis and other assorted baggage for a winter's week in the mountains. The precipitation of the previous two days has stopped, the roads are clear of snow for the drive up to Meribel, and we arrive in time for an afternoon's skiing in the sunshine on lovely fresh snow. Les Gooners variously stop early to watch the bore draw with Cardiff.
The Tourterelle onze are more or less reunited in the evening, with Professor Margarita coming in as a late replacement for the la prime J, who wasn't forwarded enough. Le maitre cuisinier gets the gourmandisement going with soupe de chou-fleur and a sublimely palatable Pork in Calvados. The wine cellar and cheese board are attacked with the usual gusto.
Mon 26 Jan
Les deux petite skieuses are up early for their usual pedagogic rendezvous with Super Suzie and Miss J, who this year is staying in a more sedate chalet further up the mountain. The rest of us take rather more time to hit the slopes on a day of mitigated weather, as the French would say. The clouds and the odd flake however don't spoil the enjoyment, and we have some lovely runs in Courchevel 1650 in the morning, before a gradual parting of the ways as we wend our way back to Meribel in the afternoon.
Le gateau choco-banane de la bienheureuse completes a satisfying first day, before the early evening arrival of the real star of the Meribel show, Coco la kino. Physio to la quinze de France, various other rugby teams and Wimbledon tennis players, she becomes our masseuse, osteopathic consultant and body mechanic for the week. JonEboy and the builder-gardener are her first clients. Diagnosis and treatment tally: one mildly twisted knee and poultice, one displaced and replaced shoulder tendon, one torn thumb ligament duly strapped.
The Margarita man then bravely ignores his injured thumb to create his powerful signature cocktail for the rest of us, excepting the author who is still suffering the after effects of the previous two night's drinking. Everybody manages to stagger to the table to enjoy yet another exquisite effort from le grand chef - salmon and horseradish amuses bouches, gnocchi et jambon entrée, rounded off by coconut and salmon laksa, with a bit of unrelated happy slapping as an amusing entre-plats. The cheeseboard is almost an after thought. After dinner JeB subjects a select but brave few to a core strength test which ends with only three men standing, or rather lying, and accusations of cheat flying from certain non-participants.
Tue 27 Jan
An even later start with the usual breakfast entertainment of tinkling on an out of tune piano, but most manage to hit the slopes by ten thirty and have fun on the east and west slopes of la Tougnette. After les filles head off for afternoon lessons, the rest of us gradually go our separate ways.
While the Sh**head card school gets going between cups of tea and more cake, Coco is back by popular request in the early evening. La bienheureuse is first on the massage table: another displaced tendon and numerous knots in back and shoulders are relaxed before another knee poultice is applied. La petite beaucoup is next and reports no major problems.
JeB's scrumptious cassoulet is next on the menu, and much enjoyed by all, as is the first dessert of the week, another la bienheureuse speciality, tarte tatin. Few have room for cheese, but schnapps and genepi digestifs do the after dinner rounds.
Wed 28 Jan
Le soleil est de retour! Morning lessons again for les deux petites, and the rest of us eventually manage to head off for a bit of glacier skiing, via a missed chocolat chaud rendezvous in Val Thorens. Reunited, we manage one lovely run down before la bienheureuse, JeB and I head home, leaving the others to attack the second glacier.
It's my turn to undergo the Coco treatment in the evening. Diagnosis: knotted shoulders due to the stress of a layabout sponger's life, but my back surprisingly receives a good report - straight spine and no real problems. La petite skieuse is next and in contrast her spine needs straightening and another tendon realigning. Meanwhile sounds emanating from the piano suggests that the DenEboy's practice is paying off in spades, but it turns la reine serène showing off her rather more accomplished skills instead.
It's also the final night's cooking for le grand chef, and we have a guest for dinner, la prime J paying us a visit on her catered chalet's night off. Prof Margarita's understudy sets us up with some marginally less strong cocktails, and as usual JW exceeds himself with a huge and delicious venison dish, preceded by more salmon and horseradish. Midway through the week, wine stocks are surprisingly holding up and we're more or less sticking to our ration of six bottles a night. An after dinner game of cards, with the master-builder teaching the master-chef how to play, ends with the former as Sh**head and the latter asleep.
Thu 29 Jan
A day off school for the Super Suzie acolytes, and another cloudless day, so we all head off towards Tougnette again. After a Coco-aided victory in the battle of the wounded knee the previous day, la bienheureuse is forced to retreat to some more gentle skiing on her own, while the rest of us head towards Mont Vallon. The long run down the mogul-infested east flank is enjoyed by all, despite a rare face plant from the master skier DenEboy. JW and I then have a quick run down the west flank piste while the others rest weary limbs in the café at the bottom. Thence we wend our way Meribel-wards and for old time's sake head up to Saulire for the late run down in the setting sun.
An early evening massage leaves the DeB, chef for the evening, remarkably unstressed and unhurried about getting down to cooking. While le frère takes his turn with Coco, the sous-chef grows more agitated about her master's apparent lack of urgency. With reason. Three hours later the pork stroganoff is finally ready and we sit down to dinner at ten. The wait is worth it though, and the laid-back chef produces a chocolicious bread pudding to follow. Then it's straight to bed, though a few can't resist a cheese and port digestif.
Fri 30 Jan
Greedy for improvement, les skieuses are up early for their big day out with Suzie. La bienheureuse gives her knee a rest from skiing and after les six garçons spend the morning variously on le grand duc, and la facejerusalem, the BJ boys and the JonEboy meet the BJ girl at the top of Saulire for lunch. JeB and la bienheureuse then head home in the bubble car leaving le frère et moi to take a first back of the leg whacking ride up Creux Noirs before wending our way back to Meribel via the Courchevel and La Tania valleys. JW and DeB meanwhile heed the urgings H le rouge has been making all week and enjoy themselves on La Masse. The master chef and I are the only ones to meet up for the late Saulire run home.
Final night of massages for la bienheureuse and the Margarita man, final knee poultice, final thumb strapping, and then it's au revoir to Coco. Our bodies will miss you. On the up side, Friday night is tartiflette night. With all the hard work of potato peeling and onion slicing completed by la bienheureuse, all JeB and I have to do is fry, assemble and stick it all in the oven. Result, one of the most delicious savoyard dishes known to man.
Tartiflette night also means vodka sorbet night, and vodka sorbet night means First Impressions night. Add it all together and you get a lot of drunken revelry and fun. This year it's la petite boss who finds it all a bit too much mid-game and disappears downstairs to be not seen again till morning. JeB and JW do their besht to finish the vodka, but manage to remain shlightly more coherent than last year. The game finishes uncompleted but with the la petite et le grand team declared winners, and the gang of three ending up with the most attributed personality traits. Weird, moi?
Sat 31 Jan
The last full day of the holiday is somewhat foreshortened by a late start. It's after eleven by the time the survivors manage to assemble on the slopes and eventually stumble over to Val Thorens for another run down the glacier. Les deux petites play good samaritan to a fallen kindred spirit on a steep red slope while her husband stands idly by. After a late lunch the DeB and I head home while the remainder make the most of their final day on the slopes.
La reine serène is chef for leftovers night, a misnomer if ever there was one. Delicious grilled nachos are followed by mouth-watering roast vegetables with venison and a savoury selection of grilled sausages. The only leftovers by the end of the night are on the cheese board. Even the wine was perfectly judged this year, the last bottle drunk with the last mouthful of food.
And so we make our way to bed, heavy of heart, heavy of leg, heavy of stomach but light of head and light of spirit. 'Twas a good week, blessed by great snow, good weather, fine food and wine, and amiable company. We will be back next year, credit crunch, falling exchange rates and failing bodies allowing...
Sun 1 Feb
Correction: Saturday wasn't quite the end of the week. The Cambridge minibus crew were up early and away by 8.15am leaving the Lyon clan to finish tidying the chalet and head off for an abbreviated day's skiing. We were back in la capitale des gauls by five-thirty, in time for soup, cheese and wine before le frère et moi headed off to Gerland for a less than inspiring derby draw with les stephanois. Meanwhile the Cambridge crew crossed the channel and hit snow in the Kent lowlands, but still got home.
Mon 2 Feb
Snow and chaos in the UK, calm weather and chaos in Lyon. The JonE and DenE boys decide to go to the airport despite their flight back to Heathrow being cancelled, but wring little from BA other than a promise to 'try' and put them on the same flight the next day. Thus I make a second trip to the airport to collect them again and then direct them to the train station in an attempt to get back via TGV and Eurostar. They eventually just manage to catch the same train as le frère and get as far as Lille. There, JeB keeps his seat on an overcrowded Eurostar while DeB and le frère are forced to get off. However, he who laughs last, laughs loudest. JeB's train is held up in the tunnel and overtaken by the one the other two eventually catch. The boys finally get home to Reading, Bristol and Cambridge at 10pm, midnight and 4am respectively. La bienheureuse and I had an early night.
